Using sex toys is becoming a natural part of how many people care for their pleasure and emotional wellbeing, yet a lot of beginners still feel unsure about where to start. This guide was created to remove that confusion and show that learning how to use sex toys can be simple, respectful, and even empowering when you have the right information.
At Couples Co. we believe that intimacy is not about perfection, but about curiosity, communication, and feeling good in your own body. Whether you are exploring solo or with a partner, this article will walk you through everything you need to know to enjoy sex toys safely and confidently, always with education, comfort, and real pleasure in mind.
A sex toy is any object designed to help you explore pleasure in a safe and enjoyable way. Some toys vibrate, some are meant for penetration, and others are created for external stimulation. At their core, sex toys are simple tools that support intimacy, curiosity, and connection with your own body or with a partner.
There are many types of sex toys and each one offers a different kind of experience. Vibrators create vibration to stimulate sensitive areas. Dildos are shaped for penetration and do not always vibrate. Masturbators are designed mainly for penis stimulation. Couples toys are made to be used together, helping partners share sensations and build closeness in new ways.
Using sex toys is not something to feel embarrassed about. They are part of personal wellness, just like massage tools or skincare products. At Couples Co. we believe that learning how to enjoy your body is a form of self care, which is why our content is always educational, natural, and focused on helping people feel confident about pleasure. Life’s too short for bad sex.
Choosing your first sex toy starts with thinking about the kind of stimulation you are curious about. External toys focus on areas like the clitoris or nipples, while internal toys are designed for vaginal or anal play. It also helps to look at size, shape, and power, because smaller and simpler toys are usually easier and more comfortable for beginners.
Another important question is whether you want something mainly for solo play or for sharing with a partner. Some toys are perfect for personal exploration, while others are made to be enjoyed together during intimacy. At Couples Co. our beginner collections are curated to make this choice less overwhelming, with gentle, versatile toys that help you start your pleasure journey with confidence.
Using sex toys for the first time should feel exciting, not stressful. There is no need to perform or reach any specific goal, because the experience is about learning what feels good to you. Create a calm and private space, turn off distractions, and allow yourself to explore with curiosity instead of pressure.
Here are a few simple recommendations to keep in mind as you begin:
Starting slowly helps your body and mind adjust to new sensations, and it builds confidence over time. When you approach your first experiences with openness and patience, sex toys become less about expectations and more about discovering pleasure in your own way.
Dildos and vibrators are some of the most common sex toys because they are versatile and easy to use. Dildos are shaped for penetration and can be enjoyed at your own pace, while vibrators add vibration for stronger external or internal stimulation depending on the design.
Clitoral suction toys and bullet vibes focus mainly on external pleasure. Suction toys create gentle pulses of air around sensitive areas, while bullet vibes are small and precise, making them great for beginners or for adding extra sensation during solo or partner play.
Masturbators, cock rings, and prostate massagers are designed mainly for penis and prostate stimulation, helping increase pleasure and awareness of new sensations. Strap-ons and couple’s toys take things a step further by inviting partners to explore together, creating shared experiences that can deepen trust, communication, and intimacy.
Using sex toys safely is all about respecting your body and moving at a pace that feels right for you. Pleasure should never feel rushed or forced, and taking simple precautions makes every experience more enjoyable and worry free.
Here are some key safety tips to keep in mind:
When you treat safety as part of the experience, sex toys become tools for long term wellness instead of one time experiments. Feeling confident and protected allows you to focus fully on pleasure.
Using lube with sex toys can completely change the way they feel. There are three main types of lubricant, water based, silicone based, and oil based. Water based lube is light and easy to clean, silicone based lube lasts longer and feels extra slick, and oil based lube is very nourishing but harder to wash away.
Not every lube works with every toy material, which is why beginners are usually better with water based options. Silicone based lube should not be used with silicone toys because it can damage the surface, and oil based lubes are not compatible with most condoms. At Couples Co. we recommend starting with our organic water based lubricants because they are gentle, body friendly, and safe to use with almost all sex toys.
Cleaning your sex toys properly is one of the most important parts of using them. You should always clean your toys before and after every use to remove bacteria, lubricant residue, and body fluids. This helps prevent irritation or infections and also keeps your toys feeling fresh and safe every time you reach for them.
Most toys can be cleaned with warm water and a mild, fragrance free soap, while others are better suited to a dedicated toy cleaner made for sensitive materials. After washing, let your toy dry completely before putting it away, because moisture can lead to bacteria growth. A common mistake is storing toys while they are still damp or letting different materials touch each other, which can damage the surface over time.
Storing your sex toys the right way is just as important as cleaning them. Proper storage keeps bacteria away and helps your toys last longer, especially when they are made from delicate or body safe materials.
Always make sure your toys are completely dry before putting them away and try to keep them protected from dust. Using individual pouches or soft storage bags is ideal because it prevents toys from touching each other and avoids damage to the surface over time.
If privacy is a concern, choose storage that feels discreet and easy to hide, like small fabric bags in a drawer or a dedicated box that blends in with your personal items. When your toys are stored cleanly and quietly, they stay ready for whenever you want to enjoy them again.
Sex toys can be shared, but doing it safely is essential to protect everyone involved. Using condoms on toys is highly recommended when sharing between partners, especially if the toy is used for different types of play. This adds an extra layer of protection and makes cleanup much easier.
Between partners, toys should be washed thoroughly with warm water and mild soap or a proper toy cleaner. Non porous materials like silicone, glass, and metal are easier to clean and safer to share, while porous materials can hold onto bacteria and should always be used with a condom. Taking a few extra steps keeps shared pleasure healthy and worry free.
Using sex toys with a partner can be a beautiful way to deepen connection, trust, and communication. The key is approaching it as a shared experience where both people feel heard, relaxed, and open to exploring together.
Before introducing any toy, have an honest and gentle conversation about what each of you is curious about and what your boundaries are. Sharing fantasies and limits builds trust and ensures that both partners feel safe and respected from the start.
Sex toys do not have to be the main event right away. Use them during kissing, touching, or massage to slowly build excitement. This makes the experience feel natural and playful rather than sudden or intimidating.
Try giving and receiving pleasure in turns so both partners can focus fully on sensation without pressure. This also helps you learn what your partner enjoys and creates a sense of balance in the experience.
Laughter, curiosity, and patience go a long way. Not everything has to be perfect the first time, and small moments of clumsiness are completely normal. Treat it as exploration, not a performance, and enjoy the journey together.
Some sex toys are designed to be used in water, but not all of them. Waterproof toys can be fully submerged, while splash proof toys are only safe around small amounts of moisture. That is why it is so important to always check the instructions that come with your toy before bringing it into the bath or shower.
For bath and shower play, make sure your hands are steady and your body is well supported, because wet surfaces can be slippery. Never use toys in water while they are charging, and avoid exposing charging ports to moisture. Taking these small precautions keeps your experience safe and stress free.
Knowing when you are ready for more advanced sex toys often comes from feeling curious rather than nervous. If you find yourself wanting stronger sensations, longer sessions, or new types of stimulation, it may be a sign that you are ready to explore beyond the basics.
Many people move gradually from external toys to internal ones as their confidence grows. This can also include discovering new sensations such as anal or prostate play, or experimenting with strap ons for shared experiences. Taking small steps helps your body and mind adjust comfortably.
At Couples Co. we curate collections for every stage of your journey, from beginner friendly toys to more adventurous options. Exploring new levels of pleasure does not have to feel overwhelming when you choose tools designed to support you with care, quality, and education.
Making pleasure part of your wellness means understanding that your body deserves attention, care, and kindness just like any other part of your health. Taking time to enjoy yourself can reduce stress, improve your mood, and help you feel more connected to who you are.
Pleasure is not a luxury, it is a meaningful part of feeling balanced and alive.
There is no single right way to use sex toys, because everybody is different and every journey is personal. Exploring your sensations at your own pace builds confidence and self-trust, and that confidence often carries over into other areas of life as well. At Couples Co. we celebrate pleasure as part of everyday wellbeing, because life’s too short for bad sex.
